Why You Never Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions—and How to

Once the clock strikes 12:00 am and the calendar turns its page, the world collectively ushers in a new year laden with promises of hope, growth, and transformation. Every January, countless individuals sit down and follow the age-old tradition of crafting New Year’s resolutions. These aspirations are often born from a desire to enhance one’s well-being, pursue personal passions, or overcome challenges, a true pursuit of positive change.

But for many, this ritual feels more like a waltz with disappointment. Gyms overflow in January only to become eerily quiet by February, books gather dust on bedside tables, and dreams of conquering Mount Kilimanjaro fade into the haze of daily routines. Why is it that these heartfelt ambitions often fizzle out like sparklers on a damp evening?

Well, this article will hopefully provide the answer to this question as it will delve into the psychology of resolutions, exploring the allure of a clean slate and the reasons why your well-intentioned plans so often go astray. We will unmask the common pitfalls that sabotage your aspirations and unveil practical strategies and tools to navigate them and turn your fleeting promises into lasting change.

So, let’s hop into it.

New Year’s Resolutions

“A new year, a totally new me,” you repeat in confidence and reassurance.

This is the year where you will fix every broken thing in your life, let that be a sink drain pipe, a relationship, an unhealthy lifestyle or that nasty habit of never doing the dishes until you have no clean spoons left to eat with.

You will stop procrastinating once and for all and reclaim your scattered attention. No social media after 7:00 pm. No checking your phone before noon. You will walk for 30 minutes every morning and listen to an audiobook while you do so. You will meditate for an hour in the afternoon to quieten those squirrels in your head that never seem to zone out even when you do.

You will finally stop being that messy, disorganised and undisciplined person and rather embrace well-being with open arms and a heart stupidly overwhelmed with hope yet with no plan whatsoever for how you will make any of those aspirations come true—and you know how this story usually ends.

Why We Create New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s resolutions are personal goals or commitments that individuals usually set for themselves at the beginning of a new year with the intention of bringing about positive changes in various aspects of their lives. While the nature of these resolutions can vary widely based on individual priorities and aspirations, they often revolve around health and fitness, personal and professional development, financial reforms, relationships, mindfulness, and leisure.

The widespread tradition of writing New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of the new year is deeply rooted in the cultural and psychological significance of this transitional period.

First of all, the end of the year prompts natural reflection on one’s accomplishments, challenges, and growth. The start of a new year, on the other hand, symbolises a fresh beginning, an opportunity for renewal. This transition is a significant calendar milestone, encouraging individuals to consider their priorities and set goals aligned with their evolving aspirations.

The cyclical nature of time, as marked by the annual calendar, also aligns with the human tendency to view life events in cycles, and the start of a new year reinforces the idea of cyclical renewal and making improvements. It is often associated with feelings of optimism and hope, which inspire individuals to set ambitious goals, driven by the belief that the coming year holds the potential for positive change.

Besides, setting goals, even if they are not perfectly achieved, can boost motivation, optimism, and self-efficacy. The act of writing down resolutions makes them more concrete and real, increasing the likelihood of following through.

Let’s also not forget our pure human inclination to follow the crowd. The fact that many people set New Year’s resolutions in search of improvement urges many others who usually do not to follow suit. This widespread tradition has then fostered a sense of shared commitment to personal improvement and communal encouragement. Sharing New Year’s resolutions with friends, family, or social networks also generates a sense of accountability and support.

Why We Fail at Keeping Our New Year’s Resolutions

Yet despite the optimism and initial motivation and that super chic New Year planner or Notion template you bought on credit, you cannot tell when exactly you fell back into your normal routine and before you know it, it is December, again.

Achieving New Year’s resolutions is definitely a challenging endeavour, and numerous factors contribute to why many individuals fall short of reaching their goals. So, let’s uncover some of these common pitfalls to help you overcome them and fulfil your New Year’s resolutions.

First of all, many people set overly ambitious or unrealistic goals, which quickly set them up for failure. While aiming high is commendable, New Year’s resolutions need to be achievable within a reasonable timeframe and with realistic effort.

Some people may write impersonal goals, ones that are driven by external pressures or societal expectations. Those are very less likely to succeed, for they lack genuine and internal motivation, which is crucial for sustaining long-term efforts towards achieving personal goals.

The lack of specificity also contributes to the failure to achieve New Year’s resolutions. Many people set vague resolutions, such as “getting in shape” or “eating healthier,” which lack clear parameters and are difficult to measure. Without specific and measurable goals, individuals may find it challenging to track their progress and stay motivated.

In addition, a lack of strategic planning hinders progress. Failing to outline a step-by-step plan or establish a timeline can lead to feelings of overwhelm and frustration, making it easier for people to abandon their New Year’s resolutions altogether.

Another pitfall that not many closely consider is that going solo on the journey towards achieving a resolution may sometimes, or even often, result in a lack of accountability. On the other hand, sharing goals with friends, family, or a support network can work magic in helping individuals stay on track and providing encouragement and motivation.

Also, some individuals rigidly adhere to their initial resolutions without the flexibility to adapt to the challenges or changes that sometimes arise. Life is dynamic, and not being flexible makes it so difficult to overcome obstacles, leading to a sense of defeat.

This is also quite a problem for those who adopt the all-or-nothing mindset, where any deviation from the plan is seen as a failure, which is surely not but is, in fact, super demoralising. Embracing a more forgiving attitude and acknowledging progress, even in small increments, is vital for long-term success.

Another poor mindset that many people sadly adopt is not understanding that sustainable change takes time and requires patience, which can lead to frustration and disillusionment.

That being said, even those who work for their goals like they have never done in their lives can also make mistakes that hinder their progress. Some individuals forget or ignore regularly assessing and reflecting on their progress. This makes them miss the opportunity to adjust their approach, celebrate achievements, and learn from setbacks. 

Last but not least, focusing solely on the resolution without considering overall well-being can lead to burnout. Neglecting self-care, rest, and balance can diminish energy levels and erode the commitment to New Year’s resolutions.

How to Achieve Our New Year’s Resolutions

Turning those shiny New Year’s resolutions into lasting change is not always easy, but with the correct strategies, you can significantly increase your chances of success, and the first thing you need to do is to learn how to properly set your resolutions in the first place.

Setting SMART goals is a powerful approach that helps ensure your objectives are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Let’s break down each of these components.

Specific: Clearly identify your goal. Be specific about what you want to achieve. Ask yourself the “W” questions: What do I want to accomplish? Why is it important? Who is involved? Where will it happen? What are the constraints or limitations? Instead of a fuzzy goal like “exercise more,” make it specific, like “run for 30 minutes three times a week.”

Measurable: Establish criteria to measure your progress. Quantify your goal whenever possible. Ask questions like: How much? How many? How will I know when it is accomplished? So, you should not say, ” I want to lose weight,” but rather make it measurable by setting a specific target, like ” I want to lose five kilos in two months.”

Achievable: Thirdly, you need to ensure that your goal is realistic and attainable. It should stretch you but still be possible. Consider the skills, resources, and time needed to achieve the goal. If your goal is to learn a new language, make it achievable by setting a realistic time commitment, like “practise for 30 minutes each day.”

Relevant: You should align your goal with your broader objectives and values. Ensure that it matters to you and is valuable. Ask yourself: Does this goal seem worthwhile? Is it the right time? Does it match my other efforts and needs? If your overarching goal is career development, a relevant goal might be to “complete a relevant professional certification.”

Time-Bound: To succeed, set a specific timeframe for achieving your goal. This adds a sense of urgency and helps prevent procrastination. When will you accomplish this goal? What can you do today, this week, and this month to move closer to your goal?

Now that you understand how to set SMART goals, let’s go over some other tips to help you turn your New Year’s resolutions into successful, sustainable achievements.

1. Avoid setting overly ambitious objectives that may be difficult to attain. Divide large goals into smaller, manageable tasks.

2. Prioritise your New Year’s resolutions based on importance and feasibility. Focusing on a few key goals at a time increases your chances of success.

3. Develop a detailed plan outlining the steps you need to take to achieve your resolutions. Set deadlines for milestones and regularly assess your progress.

4. Clearly define what success looks like for each resolution. Establish some measurable criteria to track your progress and celebrate small victories along the way.

5. Introduce new habits gradually rather than trying to make drastic changes overnight. Sustainable change often comes from consistent, incremental adjustments.

6. Share your resolutions with friends, family, or a support network. With someone to hold you accountable, you can stay motivated and encouraged.

7. Life is unpredictable, and setbacks are a natural part of the process. Stay flexible and ready to adapt your plans when necessary. Learn from challenges and adjust your approach accordingly.

8. Instead of viewing setbacks as failures, see them as opportunities to learn and grow. Analyse what went wrong, adjust your approach, and move forward with renewed determination.

9. Regularly visualise yourself achieving your goals. Visualisation can reinforce your commitment and help overcome mental barriers.

10. Keep a journal or use an app to track your progress. Regularly review your achievements and adjust your plan if needed. This helps you stay focused and motivated.

11. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they are. Recognising and rewarding yourself for reaching milestones reinforces positive behaviour and boosts motivation.

12. If you are facing challenges, seek support from friends, family, or professionals. Discussing your goals with others can offer valuable insights and encouragement.

The journey of self-discovery that New Year’s resolutions embark upon is both a personal odyssey and a collective celebration of the potential for transformation. While the path to resolution success may be adorned with challenges and unexpected detours, it is paved with the resilient spirit that propels individuals to overcome setbacks and persist in their pursuit of aspirations.

As we are stepping into a new year, let’s approach our goals with a blend of ambition and realism, understanding that sustainable change requires both commitment and resilience and often unfolds gradually, like the pages of a well-written story. May the New Year’s resolutions we create be a compass guiding us toward our truest selves, fostering a sense of fulfilment, purpose, and joy.